Tuesday, May 24, 2011

For the Daughters

It's been over five months since my last blog post. That may sound pathetic and lame, but if you look at it another way, I just achieved a new milestone -- "longest I've gone without blogging". And I've been blogging since 2005, so, you should be really really impressed.

The above line has been edited to reflect reality -- as opposed to my initial thoughtless misperception. If you're truly interested, here is my first blog entry ever.

I'm posting tonight to do something I've almost never done before -- share a bit of my incredibly personal, extremely private poetry. It's unrefined, unedited, basically raw as hell, but I want people to read this one. And by people, I mean fathers. Specifically, 'fathers who have precious little daughters'.


For the Daughters

She is eight years old and coloring.
A princess.
Her little round face is filled with concentration.
Crayons are scattered, some broken, some peeled.
She believes she could be that princess one day.
Loved by all, no cares, living happily ever after.

"Do you think her dress should be pink or purple?"

Yesterday she fit in my arms and sobbed.
Because of a boo-boo. Her tears soaked my shoulder.
Tomorrow she will cry again. Because of some mean boys at school.
In ten years she will fall in love with some of those same boys.
They will break her heart.
But not before some of them use her.

"This is my favorite green because it's like the Spring-time."

In twenty years, she will pour every drop of herself into her own children.
Her husband will sneak away to think about other women.
He will stop wanting her.

"I don't have gold so her crown's going to be yellow. Is that okay?"

In forty years, she will be alone again.
And wonder what happened.

"I'm gonna color her castle next."

In eighty years, she will lie in a bed in an institution and soil herself.
The person cleaning her up will loathe her.
He will not stop to consider that once, a long time ago...

... there was a man who watched her color and adored her utterly.


Timothy Allen Monroe said...

Ray: That is absolutely astonishing poetry even though you think that is raw and unpolished; I see it as a literary masterpiece and it makes me think of Deanna as of this Fall she will be in the 9th Grade at Fruitport High School. And even though at the age of 14 years old she says that she is not interested in young men or dating; it makes me think of when she starts dating and Rebecca and I pray that the young man that Deanna eventually dates will not break her heart or lie to her and that this young man is a Christian and has the best of Godly Intentions. Deanna said that when she graduates from High School that she wants to go to College and become an English Teacher or School Teacher.

Dave Zack said...

You're right, Ray, that was raw and unpolished. In an absolutely wonderful way. I'm proud to know you, my friend.

Anita said...

That is so beautiful. I cried. I'm serious.

Ray Veen said...

Thanks, guys. I think the only bad part of being a dad is knowing that you can't protect your little ones forever. And no matter how much you might want to, you can't make the world treat them well.

Mary O. Paddock said...

A beautiful piece, Ray. And sometimes things should stay raw and unpolished to make their point.

Kelly Polark said...

So honest and beautiful, Ray.
And have you seriously been blogging since the mid-90's?
Don't leave us hanging for another five months please!

K. M. Walton said...

Ray! Beautiful and heartfelt.

Ray Veen said...

Thanks, ladies. I'm glad you liked it. And I do think I'd like to start blogging more.

I just did some fact checking and it turns out my first blog post ever was on May 25th, 2005, which means that tomorrow is my six-year anniversary of blogging. Ironic, no? Sorry for the inadvertant lie.

Jean Davis said...

That was beautiful. Darn you for making me all teary eyed.

Keri Mikulski said...

Awesomeness. :)

HUBBYMAN said...

So: Your first blog was on your youngest sister's 29th bithday. Interesting. I remebber that banner picture (& liked it a lot).

I totally agree with Mary Paddock.

I'm glad SOMEBODY in the family still wants to blog (I don't do FB).

I sometimes have thoughts like those. I wish I could do something to better the lives of all of our children & grandchildren.


J.R. Johansson said...

That was beautiful, Ray. I don't have daughters, but I am one and I'm touched. And I feel the same way about my sons. Thank you.