Like the title says, today is the three month anniversary of my quitting smoking. Afters years of trying, I finally feel like I might have succeeded. But before you start applauding or anything like that, you should know what I had to go through in order to do it.
I visited this fortune teller at a circus that passed through town. Half joking, I asked the lady when I'd finally be able to quit and how I'd go about doing it. She got scary serious, scary fast. There was this chill gust of wind and all the candles flickered and went out. In a creepy, scratchy voice, the lady told me that if I sacrificed three kittens, she could make a potion from their entrails that would enable me to quit smoking, plus give me the power to reach every part of my body with my tongue. So I tried it and guess what -- it worked great. And now, whenever I feel like I need to smoke, I just lick my salty elbow. Who needs to smoke when you can do that?
So yeah, three months no smokey. I actually just quit without doing anything (except eating) but I couldn't just come out and say that. It wouldn't have been long enough to warrent a blog post.