Today's the day

After an almost four year hiatus, I'm back in Scary-Query Land.

Besides the announcement itself, I don't have much to say about it, but what I do want to do is dole out some big, BIG gratitude to the following amazing people:

• Kate Walton
• Bryan Bliss
• Paul Micheal Murphy
• Vivi Bickell

Your feedback, support, and encouragement really mean a lot to me.  And as always, I am eager and willing to repay you for your help in any way I possibly can.  So don't ever be afraid to hit me up.  If it's cash, though, I might need some time to liquidate some assets -- you know bidness.  

Live from the Can -- Safe and Sound

This one relates to writing.  It really does.  The song is "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift, but more importantly, it's from the soundtrack for the upcoming "Hunger Games" movie.

What we have here, is my 18 year-old daughter Hailie and I reproducing it, somewhat faithfully, in our bathroom.  And can I just say?  I freaking LOVED the Hunger Games books.  You're not likely to like this video as much as I liked the Hunger Games books, but I hope that you are still somehow able to find a way to endure it, and perhaps say something nice about it in the comments, if only to make my little girl feel special.  (Feel free to slam the dorky guitarist)

WIP Wednesday -- Forging a query

Remember WIP Wednesdays?  Sure you do.  It's that thing I used to do on Wednesdays, back when I used to update my blog fairly regularly.


So.  My 'work in progress' this Wednesday isn't a novel or anything like that, it's a query letter.  Actually I've been toying with it for like six months, but these last two weeks, it's kind of been my full-time job (when I'm not working one of my other two jobs).  I'm not even going to mention what a joy they are to write, because that's as obvious as saying "the grass is green" or "gosh this malted beverage is refreshing".  But for those of you who may not have had the pleasure, query fun is multiplied exponentially when it comes time to workshop it on the message boards.


My lil guy spent the past five or six days running the gauntlet in 'Query Letter Hell' at Absolute Write.  Some of you probably know this because of my last blog post, where I asked for your help and crit.  And thanks for your help and crit, but don't bother scrolling down to find said blog post now, because it has since been deleted.  Why?  Because seriously -- who wants a direct link to humiliation on their blog?


Okay, maybe 'humiliation' is a little strong, but I am embarrassed by the first few drafts now.  I didn't think they were so bad at first, but the folks at AW schooled me otherwise.  As always, they did so with their trademark inexplicable hostility, using words to describe me and query like 'pretentious', 'off-putting', 'newbie', and 'preachy D-bag'.  Mostly in response to the statistics I included at the beginning.  


See, a long time ago query letter advice use to encourage writer's to say something about the marketability of their book, but guess what?  Now it just pisses people off.  'Inexplicably-hostile-people-who-may-or-may-not-have-ever-written-a-winning-query-letter' anyway.  Ultimately I was able to see beyond the inexplicable hostility, and accept the fact that my statistics did, in fact, seem pretentious, and off-putting, and even preachy.  So I cut them.  And rewrote the rest of query according to their specifications.  And just when it seemed I'd almost crafted something that softened the inexplicable hostility, a second wave of writers showed up to insult me with renewed fervor.


I'll admit it.  I flaked out a little bit.  I started seeing demons in every sentence and I was convinced that every word I typed was tainted with arsenic.  I lost all perspective and all hope, and more importantly, all confidence in my ability to write anything more complicated than a grocery list.  Until Kate Walton talked me down.  And let me just pause here, and just say a big 'thank you' to her once again -- thank you, Kate -- you're a true friend and inspiration.  (Her book 'Cracked' came out earlier this year from Simon Pulse: check it out here).


As a result of her calm encouragement and sage advice, I have now made the uncharacteristically mature decision to get the hell away from my query letter for a while.  And that's where things stand on this WIP Wednesday.  My query in one corner, and me in my own, catching my breath.  Tune in next week when the bell rings for round two.

Look what's new...

Perhaps you're just now noticing, but things have changed around here.  Wordslinger used to look like this:

Now it looks like this:

(no image posted because, well... surely you can see what my blog looks like now.)

I made the change because I thought the old layout looked a little immature, too comic-bookish or something.  And since I'm quickly approaching the day in which I shall once more enter the query-arena, I thought it might be a good idea to portray myself as some sort of actual, adult-type person.  Legends speak of cunning literary agents who stalk the internet by night, watching from the shadows -- weighing the words we type when we don't know they're there.  And that's kind of a scary thought.  I sure wouldn't want prospective literary agents thinking I'm some kind of irreverent juvenile who lacks the professionalism of a fifth-grader.  Because that's SO not true.  

I really feel more like a high-school freshman.

So sling me some feedback here.  What do y'all think?  Is it still legible?  Is the page too dark?  Fonts too small?  Does my profile picture make me look like a girl?  Please note that all commenters will receive a post-dated, electronic check for one-thousand dollars in space-money, and my grand-children will mow lawns for their grand-children for the duration of one full winter.  (That's a 'Michigan' winter, FYI.)