20 years ago today (er, two days ago)

Can't believe I missed this, June 21st has always been a kind of a special day to me. Besides being the day I left for basic training, it was also my Army 'ETS' date: 'end of time in service'. What I'm saying is, two days ago, I missed the 20 year anniversary of my getting out of the active Army. I stayed in the National Guard for five more years -- 'one-weekend-a-month' kind of thing -- but June 21st, 1991 was the day I first came home. After Georgia, and Texas, and Saudi Arabia, and Iraq, and what seemed like an eternity of missing my mommy (and subsequently learning to drink).

In honor of that, I've uploaded a few more ancient pictures to my Army web album. Take a look. And then, next time you see me, you can buy me a celebratory beverage. Alcoholic, preferably, because drinking is the one skill I've maintained all these years.

For the Daughters

It's been over five months since my last blog post. That may sound pathetic and lame, but if you look at it another way, I just achieved a new milestone -- "longest I've gone without blogging". And I've been blogging since 2005, so, you should be really really impressed.

The above line has been edited to reflect reality -- as opposed to my initial thoughtless misperception. If you're truly interested, here is my first blog entry ever.

I'm posting tonight to do something I've almost never done before -- share a bit of my incredibly personal, extremely private poetry. It's unrefined, unedited, basically raw as hell, but I want people to read this one. And by people, I mean fathers. Specifically, 'fathers who have precious little daughters'.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

For the Daughters

She is eight years old and coloring.
A princess.
Her little round face is filled with concentration.
Crayons are scattered, some broken, some peeled.
She believes she could be that princess one day.
Loved by all, no cares, living happily ever after.

"Do you think her dress should be pink or purple?"

Yesterday she fit in my arms and sobbed.
Because of a boo-boo. Her tears soaked my shoulder.
Tomorrow she will cry again. Because of some mean boys at school.
In ten years she will fall in love with some of those same boys.
They will break her heart.
But not before some of them use her.

"This is my favorite green because it's like the Spring-time."

In twenty years, she will pour every drop of herself into her own children.
Her husband will sneak away to think about other women.
He will stop wanting her.

"I don't have gold so her crown's going to be yellow. Is that okay?"

In forty years, she will be alone again.
And wonder what happened.

"I'm gonna color her castle next."

In eighty years, she will lie in a bed in an institution and soil herself.
The person cleaning her up will loathe her.
He will not stop to consider that once, a long time ago...

... there was a man who watched her color and adored her utterly.

Elfhame artwork

This here, like I promised last week, is a sampling of the artwork by the gifted and imaginative Nancy Zack, which will appear in our self-published book, 'Elfhame'. To be clear, I'm still technically working with my agent and still planning on pursuing traditional publication with other projects. Elfhame just happens to be an older novel that Mr. Agent is not interested in representing, so I made the decision to self-publish it. Actually, I have many older stories that he's not interested in representing, but Elfhame is special. The story is one of my absolute favorites, and I've always dreamed about seeing some of the imagery from the book come to life. And now, with Nancy's help, that's exactly what's happening.

I plan on buying a few copies for friends and family, it'll be available online for anybody else who might be interested -- but -- I'm not going to spend any money printing hundreds of copies I'll have to market myself, and I won't spend any time promoting it or trying to get it into bookstores...

I simply want this book to exist.

Purely for the artistry of it.

You feel me?

Just call me 'Loser McLosey'

Yeah, I could make excuses. And they'd be really good ones, too. Upon hearing them you'd feel a surge of sympathy for me and shake your head and ask yourself in a quiet and sad voice, "Really, how could a person be expected to do all that writing in the midst of X, Y and Z? Frankly I'm amazed that he made it to 27,000 -- it's nothing short of heroic."

Gosh guys, that's nice of you say, but 'heroic'? That's just too much.

-------------------------

In real writing news: I'm still looking forward. Still got my eyes on the prize and all that. With Nano 2010 now a part of history, I'm setting Oneironaut aside once again, and going back to editing Talonshale. And I shall not stop until it is squeaky clean and glittering like a pubescent vampire in the sunshine.

Also, I've made the decision to self-publish one of my older projects. Not because I've embraced the notion that self-publishing is the road to fame and riches, but purely for the artistry of it. The book is pretty much my favorite out of all my old stories, and it is one that my agent has "released the rights" to, so I've partnered with a very talented lady who's going to illustrate it for me. She's done some amazing work so far, and I'd love to share it with you blog types, but first I should ask her permission.

In other news, don't actually call me 'Loser McLosey'. It hurts.

What October hath wrought:

So hey, you ever read back through your old blog posts and think to yourself, "I used to be a much more better blogger than I am now?" (forgive me for rambling or making mistakes -- I'm having a couple drinks) I was looking for something in an old blog post (I kind of forgot what it was now) and I started reading my old stuff and I found myself actually laughing. Out loud. At my own blog posts. I used to be a helluva blogger. funny too. Now i'm just a pathetic social networker who checks Facebook on my phone every hour on the hour -- just like the other six-hundred bajillion people on planet Earth.

Guess I'm feeling kind of 'out-of-body' today. And it's not just the gin and Guinness and LeBatts. I also quit smoking for the 412th time. everybody's gotta get their mind-altering chemicals somehow, right? On the plus side, I wrote more than the daily Nano quota today (but less than my own psychotic, self-imposed quota), work didn't kick my ass, and, wonder-of-all-wonders, my very good blogging buddy, KM Walton got herself a freaking mother of a publishing offer today. Ever hear of Simon and Shuster? That's who's going to be publishing Kate's book. Super huge helluva congratulations to you, Kate. Despite my own recent, 'less-than-chipper', writing experiences, I'm super-psyched for you. I can only imagine the mind-blowing over-joyedness you must be feeling now. Enjoy it, my friend, because there will only be one day in your life when you get the fantastic news that you are about to become a published author.

ROCK ON KM!

I promise to pay full price for your book when it gets published. Hardcover. And I shall be pleased to know that much of said cash shall go into your lucky-ass pocket.

What else? Oh. Halloween.





As you can see, we had one helluva good time. I love me some family holidays. And the title of my blog is, after all, 'Writing and Family and whatnot'.

One more thing: I would be super-honored if you would all click the following link. You know I'm a surgical technologist by trade, right? Ever wonder what happens behing those mysterious 'surgical-attire-required-beyond-this-point' doors? This video answers that question and so much more. (See me in drag, dude -- f'real)

Ray actually has a small amount of acting ability.

WIP Wednesday -- ain't done it in a while

Here's where things stand for me, writing-wise:

1. Finished re-editing an older book, 'Elfhame' -- my personal favorite out of all my stories.

2. Putting the finishing touches on the phat outline for my next book, which I'm now calling 'Chronon'.

3. Sent a description of both projects to my agent almost a month ago, and haven't heard back.

4. Have decided to write my next book as a participant in NaNoWriMo ('National Novel Writing Month', in case you ain't never heard of it). This is my profile. If you're participating, add me as a writing buddy.

I've been hanging around with the local Wrimos since 2006, but I haven't been able to be a 'real' competitor for the last two years. As luck would have it, both Novembers were spent mired in horrific revisions. My area's a bit light on writerly folks, so I really enjoyed the networking aspect of NaNo: meeting other writers, talking shop and whatnot, but I felt bad about ending the month with no real word count. Despite writing twelve full books, I've been a NaNoWriMo 'loser' four years in a row. And I do so hate to feel 'loser'-ey. Lucky for me, this November, my writing schedule and NaNo coincide -- I'll be working on the first draft of Chronon. Serendipitous, no?

I should mention that my usual writing pace for a first draft is about 4000 words a day; NaNo's 50k should be a paltry twelve-and-a-half days for me. I don't expect my writing to suffer from NaNo's self-proclaimed "kamikazee, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing." I'm actually hoping that having local writer buds to encourage me will make make my writing better. And even if I do end up with yet another pile of excrement, at the end of the month, I expect I'll have had a bit of fun.

And like I mentioned in my last post -- I really only seem to be writing for fun these days.

What September has wrought:

Got some bad news from my agent last Friday -- 'Talonshale' will not be going into submissions. Which is discouraging. But the fact remains that I really like writing, so that's what I'm gonna keep on doing, and here's where I'm going (the working title is 'Sulwig'):

Elevator pitch:

Nathaniel is a hundred-million dollar research project, but he has no clue. He believes he is just an average sixteen-year-old, with below-average grades, until he finds himself trapped between warring high-tech weapons researchers. When he acquires a cell-phone that can make objects vanish and re-appear with a simple text, Nathaniel finally begins to question who he is, and what he's capable of.

As of today, it's fully plotted and outlined, and I have the first few pages down to capture the voice and style and whatnot. And I'm pretty excited about it. So let us not dwell on the negative. Instead, let me share a bit of last weekend's 'therapy' -- the 2010 Michigan Irish Music Festival. Me and a kilt, and my girly-girls and some mind-blowing Irish music (and some beers).




In honor of the Irish Music festival, Cindy and I recorded this video of us playing our fairly new instruments that we've just begun to learn this summer (in other words, go easy on us). I have other versions of these tunes in which we make fewer mistakes, but I find it extremely cute when Cindy messes up and turns those sheepish eyes to mine -- makes my heart all sunny and warm.

It's kind of like an awards show, only no live music

First of all, huge congratulations to my buddy KM Walton for landing herself a big-time literary agent. You faithfully walked the walk, did all the things you were supposed to and more, refusing to give up (almost) every step of the way, and now you're officially 'in the game'. Because that's really what being agented is all about. Until you sign with someone, being published seems like a perpetually unobtainable dream. Then it all changes. Once you're agented, it's almost like that contract could come at any time -- your ultimate fantasy could come true at any moment. Of course, most of us still wind up doing many revisions and writing several more books and waiting several more years (like me), but it's still a huge relief to know that you're a real, live 'player'. Sometimes people do get published right out of the gate, though, and Kate, I hope that's you.

While I'm congratulating people, I should also mention Mercedes Yardley. About a week ago, she signed with Jason Yarn from Paradigm. I haven't known her for quite as long as I've known Kate, but I'm still very excited, and feel very gratified for her. I read her book last year, and in all honesty, it was hands down the most haunting, resonant book I've read in the last couple years (published or no). You rock, Mercedes -- and soon the whole world shall see how hard.

As for me, I'm still waiting to hear how my agent likes Talonshale version seven. When he responds, I'm sure I'll be diving deep into revision-mode once more, but in the mean time, I'm taking a break from writing and just enjoying the summer with my family.

So where are the rest of you at? Been a while since I've compared notes with some of you. Anyone else land an agent while I wasn't looking?

Hollywood wins again.

Pre-emptive apology: this post is a bit whiny. It could even be construed as arrogant. I'm sorry if it comes off that way -- mainly I'm just frustrated with Hollywood and their inconsiderate ways. Why must they persist in coming out with so many movies that are similar to my own, unpublished stories?

I know. It's happened to all us would-be writers. Still stings, though.

So one of my very first story ideas ever, and we're talking many years ago, was about this shapeshifting, liquid metal I called 'Omnipotanium'. Not long after writing a short story with that title, the movie Terminator II came out, and they had the super cool, shapeshifting metal robot guy.

A few years later I was writing a story where a man with an incredibly vibrant, rewarding life wakes up and finds he's actually lived his whole life in a pod on a space-ship, and that the life he'd thought he'd lived was a fantasy pumped into his mind. Remind you of anything? That's right. "The Matrix." That movie actually came out before I was finished, so I quit on page seventy-something. The rest of my story was different enough; there's this benevolent, alien race transporting the remnants of the humanity to a new, unspoiled planet, the trip is multi-generational, so the fantasies are just their way of giving the sleepers some semblence of a quality-of-life.

Here's my point. If I'd finished that story, and somehow gotten it published, the world would have always assumed I'd ripped-off of The Matrix. At least in part.

But wait, there's more:

• circa 1992. I wrote a 700 page behemeth about the challenges of being a young sorceror's apprentice. And we all know what young sorceror hit the scene a few years later.
• My tenth book, Fiersom's Brood was about a group of teenagers that develop mental powers, and I tried my hardest to make all of their powers original and unique, and then the TV series 'Heroes' hit the air. And yeah, they must've had access to my notebooks because pretty much all of my 'originality' found its way into the show.
• And, as many of you know, I've been trying to write a 'future-of-gaming' book for more than three years now. I'm up to seven different versions of it, and one of the early ones was suspiciously similar to 'Gamer' with Gerard Butler.

So here is my latest discouragement: I started a book last summer that I've been working on off and on (it's up to about 170 pages) that I'm tentatively calling 'Oneironaut'. I've blogged a bit about this one. It's about a team of dream researchers that pair up two teenage boys who are gifted, 'lucid dreamers'. The idea is that they're supposed to link up in other people's dreams as a cutting edge form of dream therapy. Then there's some other stuff about artifacts that can be carried from the dream world into the waking world, but nobody's going to remember that bit. Not now that 'Inception' is making such a big splash. For those of you who don't care to click the link, you could probably guess what the basic concept is about -- people with the ability to connect in other people's dreams.

So now I'm bummed. And you know? I think I just need to break into publishing ASAP -- before I run out of marketable ideas.

In my last post, I announced the completion of the first draft of Talonshale version seven. And today I finished the second draft. So yeah, that's why I'm updating again. Soon it shall be ready for those of you who were so brave as to volunteer your services as beta readers.

Which reminds me of something that's been on my mind lately: I miss blogging and I really miss my blogger buds. How is everybody? Doing well? Can I get you something to drink? A pillow maybe? You know I'm still your bro, right?

Can I tell you something else? I got a bodhran for Father's Day. Early, yes, because I accidentally opened the email with the order confirmation from Amazon and spoiled the surprise. So when it came in the mail, she just gave it to me. It's really cool too, see?

(Thanks, Babe -- you're the bomb-est.)

A posting of blog

Even though my blog's been mostly neglected, I feel obligated, I guess, to report that I finished the first draft of 'Talonshale' yesterday. I re-read it today, and my initial findings are that: one, it flows a quicker than I thought it was going to, and two, that maybe I shouldn't have read it so soon after writing it. The suspenseful and emotional parts had no impact on me because they were still too fresh in my mind -- I knew what was going to happen, and I was still seeing it in terms of 'what I meant', instead of 'what I actually wrote'.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could magically erase all knowledge of our own book, and truly experience it as if we were a first time reader?

I suppose that's why we need beta readers. (lil hint)

Ray Veen is not a dork.

This might be dorky. But don't make fun of me.

It's my main characters. See?.... Really these are only the avatars my main characters are using in their futuristic version of an online role-playing game. I made Oblivion characters out of them and pasted some screenshots together. So now I know you want to make fun of me.

You better not.

Or I'll write you into my story and have really bad stuff happen to you.