Tuesday, August 18, 2009

No Smokey Three Months

Like the title says, today is the three month anniversary of my quitting smoking. Afters years of trying, I finally feel like I might have succeeded. But before you start applauding or anything like that, you should know what I had to go through in order to do it.

I visited this fortune teller at a circus that passed through town. Half joking, I asked the lady when I'd finally be able to quit and how I'd go about doing it. She got scary serious, scary fast. There was this chill gust of wind and all the candles flickered and went out. In a creepy, scratchy voice, the lady told me that if I sacrificed three kittens, she could make a potion from their entrails that would enable me to quit smoking, plus give me the power to reach every part of my body with my tongue. So I tried it and guess what -- it worked great. And now, whenever I feel like I need to smoke, I just lick my salty elbow. Who needs to smoke when you can do that?

So yeah, three months no smokey. I actually just quit without doing anything (except eating) but I couldn't just come out and say that. It wouldn't have been long enough to warrent a blog post.

16 comments:

abrokenlaptop said...

Congratulations. Lick all the kitten entrails you want; I hear their high in protein.

Seriously, you rock!! Way to be a hero for your family. :)

-Mercedes

DebraLSchubert said...

Good for you, Ray! My husband and I quit together many moons ago, and it's one of the best things we've ever done in our lives. Keep it up, and if you need any words of encouragement, don't hesitate to "call."

Paul Michael Murphy said...

Flexibility like that and you're licking your elbow? What a waste.

Kelly said...

Seriously you can lick your elbow? Did you know that the rough patch of skin on your elbow is called a wenis. I'm just sayin.
CONGRATS to you!! (on the not smoking, not licking your wenis)

cindy said...

dad was wondering where his kittens were...

3 mos! i'll have to reward you ;)

After The Blackbird Sings said...

Stopping an addiction is like convincing yourself not to breath. You have to convince yourself it's not what's keeping you alive.

K. M. Walton said...

That's quite a story you have there. Quite a story.

Three months is a long time - keep it up.

p.s. I did my 10 Pictures of Whateva on my blog...gave you a shout out too.

Big Plain V said...

Mercedes -- Kitten entrails make a healthy and delicious snack. I totally reccommend them.

Debra -- Thanks, man. I'll holla if I need to.

Paul -- My kneecaps are gross, so...

Kelly -- Heh. I did NOT know that. If I had, I probably would've picked another body part for my little story there. (I had to Google it)

Cindy -- Ohhhhh yes... I've been a very good boy.

Blackbird -- It's also like learning to live without a valued limb.

KM -- Cool. I'm headed that way.

Keri Mikulski said...

Congrats!!

You need to add the story of the fortune teller to one of your books. :)

colbymarshall said...

Congrats V- that's AWESOME!

Anita said...

I smoked a few way back in high school and I still occasionally crave the suckers. I am very impressed...wanted to ask how it was going many times, but didn't want to be a pest. Congrats!

Big Plain V said...

Keri -- Yeah. . . I don't know about that.

Colby -- Why thank-you, I feel awesome.

Anita -- Thanks for being able to relate. I still think about it everyday, and I'm even dreaming about it.

Madison said...

Congrats, V, and hang in there! I'm sure you will soon be smoke free and it's a great way to be a wonderful rolemodel for your kids. I'm sure they and your wife are very proud of you! I know all your Blog Buddies are! :)

HUBBYMAN said...

CONGRATS, BPV!!! VEEFLOWER QUIT 25 YEARS AGO, BUT STILL DREAMS OF SMOKING. THE RUSTIC REBEL WOULD NEVER HAVE DREAMED OF QUITTING -- AND THAT'S WHY HE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE. I APPLAUD ANYONE WHO'S TRYING TO QUIT. I STOPPED IN THE EARLY 80S WHEN IT JUST GOT TOO EXPENSIVE FOR ME. NOW IF I COULD JUST GET RID OF THIS PAIN IN MY HIP.... (BG)

Ron Smith aka Prince Balthazar said...

That's great news, BPV. The demons still chases me...but I'm trying.

VeeFlower said...

I knew you could do it. They say that you should never quit quitting, because each time you learn something new about how to quit forever. Who is "they" anyway? But sometimes "they" are right.